Day 39: A ransom

"He served as a ransom for mankind."

What does that even mean? I've heard that phrase before many times but never really thought about it. But it describes perfectly what Jesus Christ's role was for us.

The plan of salvation was laid out to us in the pre-mortal existence. We were told what the plan was, and then given the choice to follow through with it or leave with Satan and never gain a body. 2/3 of us chose to follow through with the plan. The rest left and decided to take on the role of tempting us while we had mortal bodies. An act of jealousy on their part because they realized they would never progress like we had the opportunity to.

Yet we couldn't just go down to earth and live a perfect life. How would we progress, really learn right from wrong? We had to experience the good and the bad. But justice requires a price to be paid for every wrong committed. But that would doom us. There would be no way we could return to Heavenly Father if there wasn't a way for us to become perfect like him.

Then Jesus Christ stepped in with his role. A "ransom" was put upon him. He would take the sins of the world upon him in order for us to recieve the opportunity to repent and return to our Heavenly Father. We thought we understood how important it would be to come back to him, but Jesus Christ knew as soon as we came to the earth and the veil was put between us and heaven, we would find many ways to forget or choose wrongly.

Therefore, Jesus Christ knew how important this sacrifice would be. He was the only one who could atone for the sins of the world.

I'm trying to do what I can to make that sacrifice worthwhile, to honor and continue to use the atonement. Because I don't want that ransom to have been in vain.

Day 38: In Wonder

"I stand all amazed at the love Jesus has for me;
Oh it is wonderful, that he should care for me, enough to die for me!
Oh it is wonderful, wonderful to me."

We sang that hymn today in sacrament meeting and I love the words to it. Music really does speak to my spirit and affects me in a way other things can't. These words are how I feel in my own heart when I partake of the sacrament every week. I am constantly amazed at the love Jesus Christ has for me.

Satan continues to try so hard to make me believe that I am not loveable, that I am never going to amount to much, if anything. And I regret to say that sometimes I let those thoughts get the better of me. Letting those thoughts become dominant in my mind pushes away the spirit, and takes away the feeling of love and support I always have from my Savior. Jesus Christ loved me enough to die for me.

Oh it is wonderful! Wonderful to me!

Day 37: Faith

Faith is not only a power we have within ourselves, it's an action. In order to have faith, we must act and move onward in faith. We can't say we have faith and then just sit and wait for the Lord. We need to show him that we have faith in him by living our lives the best we can, and knowing in our hearts he will lead us and take care of us.

The more we act in faith, the stronger our faith gets. Our eyes are opened to the tender mercies of the Lord and we see how he blesses our lives. Even if things happen that we weren't planning on or at first don't understand, with faith we know that eventually we will understand. And we will continue to trust in the Lord that life is going the best it can for us.

Faith and trust are very closely related. You can't have one without the other. We are blessed to have both faith in the Lord and trust in the Lord. When we completely trust him, we start to see our lives the way he sees our lives-a way to mold us and shape us into the eternal beings he plans on us to be.

Day 36: Gifts

"11. For all have not every agift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.

12. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby." (D&C 46: 11-12)

Our personalities and abilities are another example of Heavenly Father's love for us. We each have been blessed with our own characteristics that make us who we are, and each one of those characteristics is valued to help build the kingdom upon this earth.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have much to offer as a person. But then I'm reminded, either by those I love or the Spirit, or both, that I do matter. And that I am valued as a daughter of God. I am loved so much by my Heavenly Father and my older brother that I was given the opportunity to live on this earth for a period of time. And because Jesus Christ loved me personally enough, he suffered for me to give me the option to be able to return back home.

I am loved, and valued for my own personal self-worth. Everyone is. Sometimes it's really hard to remember that in a world where every one compares to every one else. We all have something to give, and we all have special spiritual traits about us that are unique to only us. That is proof enough that a higher, more powerful being loves us unconditionally.

Day 35: Love

I feel like everything I study about the gospel and Jesus Christ all comes back to focus on one thing: The Atonement. It's a topic that never gets old to me, and that I know I'll never quite understand during this life. It was the purest act of love that was ever done or will be done on this earth. It was an act done that gave us the power to be like our Heavenly Father.

Jesus Christ has the greatest love of all. A love so pure and strong that he gave up his life for each of us. He felt every pain and affliction imaginable in order for us to find a way to ease our burdens while here upon the earth.

Without him, there would be no chance for us to succeed. With him, we have every chance.

Day 34: Christlike Love

"We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever. Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won’t, for He sees us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation. It takes us as men and women of the earth and refines us into men and women for the eternities.

The means of this refinement is our Christlike love. There is no pain it cannot soften, no bitterness it cannot remove, no hatred it cannot alter. " -Joseph B. Wirthlin

I love this quote. Elder Wirthlin gave such good talks about hope for better days after his wife died a couple years before his death.

We, as mortals, can't see life in terms Heavenly Father can. We aren't perfect yet, and it's hard to believe sometimes that I can be perfect like Christ when right now I feel so far from it. But like Elder Worthlin said, we are seen in His eyes differently. How grateful I am that He sees the whole picture. And he knows where I fit in, and is guiding me to be that person he sees. Jesus Christ made his sacrifice to help me become perfect. What a comfort that is.

Day 33: Service

When we are baptized and become members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we take upon ourselves the responsiblity of service. Service in the church, and service to others. I used to think service was only counted if it was an actual act you did, such as baking cookies for your sick neighbor, or raking the leaves off the yard of the old lady down the street.

But service is anything where we put someone else first, and don't expect anything in return. It can be a phone call to a friend who is having a bad day. Anything simple. Any sacrifice without us wondering what we'll get repaid with.

Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of service. He came to this earth perfect, but he spent his whole ministry teaching without expecting anyone to give him something in return.

“I am among you as he that serveth” (Luke 22:27).

He showed us how simple and rewarding service is in our lives. When we serve, we feel closer to Heavenly Father. It's an interesting concept how we feel better about ourselves when we put others first.

Day 32: May Thy Burdens Be Light

Scripture for the day:

Psalms 55:22
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Pretty self-explanatory if you ask me. Jesus Christ repeats this message to us in various ways throughout all of scripture. I think he's trying to get something across to us- we have him to help us through anything, no matter what.

Day 32: Feed My Sheep

I've grown up in areas where being a mormon is the majority. I've never been the "outsider" because of my faith. Every time I would learn about missionary work in church, I always felt like it kind of applied to me, but mostly to my brothers and other friends who actually went out into the missionary field and served for 2 years. I was always comfortable and surrounded myself with people of my own faith. Sure, I knew a few people who weren't of my faith, but they seemed so set on staying in their ways that I never bothered to really try and reach out to them about my faith. I'm ashamed to admit that now.

I want so badly to be better at sharing my faith. I still live in an area where I am surrounded by a population whose majority is mormon. But Paul will graduate in a year and who knows where we'll end up? I'm really hoping wherever we go, it is so that we can reach out to someone who isn't of our faith. It's scary to reach out to others and share something so personal to us. No one likes being rejected. Fear is what has kept me back most of these years.

I just finished reading a talk by Elder Russel M. Nelson about missionary work. He touched me by asking us why do we as a church try to follow Christ who was compassionate and loving of everyone, and yet not share this truth with others around us? How would it feel to know that someone you knew was never given a chance to learn about the gospel because you were too afraid to share anything about it with them?

I need to find better ways of reaching out to other people. This gospel is the most important thing in my life, why am I not sharing it with more people? Here's to hoping I can put on my big girl pants and be willing to share my beliefs with someone who doesn't know what I know.

Day 31: The Christ I Believe In

I don't understand

why the world teaches we are what we are, and we can't change
why the world says no matter how hard we try, we'll never be good enough
why the world teaches there is no Christ to save us

But most of all

why do we let ourselves drown in our faults instead of trying to change for the better
why do we give up before we've reached the goal because we believe we'll never be good enough
why do we listen to world when we feel like no Christ has come to save us when we want it



What I understand most is

why I was given the opportunity of life: to change myself for the better
why I can find the strength to carry on: because I have the love of Christ and those around me
why I can tune out the world: by listening to the words of Christ and taking them in

The Christ I believe in will always have his arm of mercy extended towards me, will always forget my sins once he has fogiven them, and will always love me no matter what.

That's the Christ I believe in.

Day 30: Keeping it all in perspective

I scanned through a talk Elder Richard G. Scott gave a few years ago about the Savior. He of course made so many good points about following the Savior and how easy it can be, and also how hard it can be. One line he said really stuck out to me for some reason:

"Satan works very hard so that the essential things won’t happen."

That's so true! First of all, Satan hates the fact that we didn't follow him in the pre-existence. He despises that we have bodies and he doesn't. He hates that we have the potential to go back to Heavenly Father and he never will be able to. He will be miserable for the rest of his life.

He doesn't want to be alone all miserable. He wants to take as many of us as he can. His goal is to make us miserable while on this earth when we should be focused on trying to be happy. And yes, we will have hard times. A lot of us already have had hard times. But we can still find happiness through those trials because we have Christ as our guide. If we listen to Satan and all his lies, telling us there is no hope for us, or happy days are no longer available to us, we will end up miserable just like him. Misery stunts progress. I'm definitely guilty of wallowing in self-pity sometimes and it never gets me anywhere. Focusing on Christ gets me somewhere.

His life and teachings are here for us this day to help us through everything. No matter how hard Satan tries to get us to listen to him, Jesus Christ can have the stronger influence. It is a constant battle every day and will be while we are here on this earth. But by looking at the grand scheme of things, we are only on this earth for a short while. We can have eternal happiness. Satan never will. We are stronger than him, even though he tries really hard to get us to believe otherwise.

Day 29: In the Hour of Need

This is a picture painted by Carl Bloch titled "Down from the Cross". I went to the Carl Bloch exhibit this past Friday down at BYU, and of all the paintings, this one was my favorite for some reason. I think it was the feel I got from the painting. It shows Joseph of Arimathaea holding the lamp, Nicodemus is at Christ's feet, and the apostle John is at the head of Christ looking up at Joseph. I can't tell who is in the background behind Joseph.

I feel like this painting speaks so much. It's showing a scene that not many of us think about. I feel like Carl Bloch did an amazing job at capturing the numb shock his friends and loved ones were feeling after all that had just happened, resulting in Christ's death. They didn't understand that 3 days later he would return. They thought this was the end. I feel like this painting portrays the reverence and love these men felt for Christ. When I first saw this painting I felt tears form in my eyes, it was so amazing to me. I'm sure Jesus Christ poured out his spirit to these men who took the time to reverently take his body to the tomb. Their actions show their love, which I feel shows who we really are. We can say one thing, but act a different way. These men spoke and acted as true followers of Christ, even after his death.

Day 28: Joseph Smith's vision

While still on the topic of revelations, Joseph Smith's account of the first vision is always such a great example of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ's love for each of us. It testifies to me how well they know each of us and know what will fit us best. They knew that Joseph Smith at a young age would start to ponder things most teenagers wouldn't worry about. They knew that eventually, he would seek out a quiet, reverent spot in the woods to pray to God asking which church he should join. And then they would give him the answer that would change his whole life.

I've received answers that have changed my whole life. I don't feel like it was ever anything nearly as big as Joseph Smith's vision, but I have received answers that have changed my perspective and choices in life. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know me just as well, and know what I truly seek as happiness. They want to give me the best I can have in this life, and they know I'll feel more in tune with them if I do the work to seek them out. It helps me grow in the process, and I feel like it opens up my heart even more while doing so.

Day 27: Revelation

Doctrine and Covenants 138:2-4

"2.And reflecting upon the great atoning sacrifice that was made by the Son of God, for the redemption of the world;

3.And the great and wonderful love made manifest by the Father and the Son in the coming of the Redeemer into the world;

4.That through his atonement, and by obedience to the principles of the gospel, mankind might be saved."

This section was given to President Joseph F. Smith in the Salt Lake temple in 1918. I didn't actually copy down the vision part, because I wanted to focus on these few verses that put him in the mindset to receive that revelation. He went to a quiet and reverent place, the temple, and felt the need to just ponder on the wonderful gifts God has given us.

Heavenly Father wants me to receive revelation for my own life, but I need to be in the appropriate mindset to do so. I think pondering upon Jesus Christ as his sacrifice for me is a very reverent mindset to have. Even if I'm not seeking guidance at that particular time, I want to be better at working on pondering what Christ's role in my life is.

Day 26: His Healing Powers

I'm really tempted to just copy and paste a talk I just read that was given by Elder Robert D. Hales about the healing power of Christ. There's so much I want to quote from it and I think I'll go and re-read it again. He made so many good points about how if we surrender ourselves to Christ, we can be made stronger than we could have made ourselves on our own.

He mentioned how bad things happen to good people-that's part of the plan. Even when we are doing everything we can to be good, bad things will still happen to us. It's mortality. We can't have a "perfect" life right now because we need to learn in this life what is really important to us, how to grow to reach our full potential, and unfortunately difficult situations usual bring out either the best or worst in us. Heavenly Father has this plan perfected for each of us. We just have to go with what he has in store for us.

Here's a LINK to the talk.

Day 25: His Grace

i'm trying to do more studying on the topic of grace because it's such an important part of my life. It's the only way I have a chance to be able to return to Heavenly Father. I was reading the Bible Dictionary's definition on grace and it stated that there really is no chance that we could return to our Heavenly Father without the grace of Jesus Christ.

I've known that growing up because we're taught in sunday school and whatever else all about that famous scripture saying "By the grace of God we are saved, only after all we can do." So basically, even when we do all we can do, it still isn't enough. That's when Jesus Christ steps in and takes care of everything else because we are mortal and imperfect and will never be able to make up our mistakes completely on our own. We still need Jesus Christ. It's such a simple doctrine, but so important.

I don't think it's a coincidence that the plan was made that way. The plan was set up for us to always need Jesus Christ. Even if we use the atonement every day, the atonement is only possible because Jesus Christ takes care if it in the end. We repent and change our ways as much as we can, but we'll still mess up. We're still going to be imperfect while on this earth. We need Jesus Christ's grace every day. Why would he send us down to this earth if there was no need for an atonement? We have to make choices on this earth to learn who we really are and to reach our full potential and to learn the difference from right and wrong. We can only learn the difference between right and wrong if we make some wrong choices. Then what? We have to pay a price for not being perfect. We have to repent to be better. "No unclean thing can enter into the kingdom of God." That's us. Unclean. But with the grace of the Savior, we can be clean. He suffered the atonement to be able to give us his grace to help us along in this life.

Day 24: His Choice

Elder Worthlin gave an amazing talk a few years ago all about his testimony of the gospel. I loved when he started to testify of Christ and the power Jesus Christ had within him to choose to lay down his life for us.

I never really though of it that way before. I know that Jesus Christ was chosen in the beginning to come down and save the souls of man, but I never really thought about how he chose all the way up to the end when he died for us that it was his choice. Because he is God's only begotten son, he was given the ability to choose life over death. He literally could choose when to give up his life.

He chose to live perfectly so that we have an example today on how to live our lives. He showed us through his choices how making right choices lead to eternal happiness. Even though at the end of his ministry he was beaten and wrongly accused, he chose to remember what was in store for him after this life. He knew how it would end because he lived the life he was supposed to live. He knew when it would be the appropriate time to give up his earthly life and die like the rest of us will in order to complete the final step: the resurrection.

He physically died, but because he was the only begotten son, he was able to arise 3 days later in his fully-restored body and give us that last and final gift of eternal life. By his choice we have the opportunity to live again just like him.

Day 23: My testimony

Today I want to just share my testimony about the gospel and how big of an impact it is in my life. I know I should get up in fast and testimony meeting more often, but I really do get stage fright and don't say half the things I want to. Besides, this way I'll have an actual record of it for me.

I know that Jesus Christ lives. I know that he is my brother and that he loves me. He loves me so much that he suffered for me. For my mistakes and my heartache. I am so blessed to have grown up with the gospel as such a big part of my life and as I've grown older my testimony has strengthened through experiences I've had, specifically ones where I've had to rely on the Lord more than anyone else.

I know the Atonement is real. I've felt it's healing powers in my life. I've felt it change my heart when I've let it. It wasn't always easy. In fact, it was almost never easy to do that. But once I would give up my desires and have the attitude that the Lord knows best, I've noticed the change for good it has done to me. I know Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father know me personally, and know my strengths and weaknesses. And they have given me tools and people in my life to help me become a better person, to really help me reach my full potential.

I know Jesus Christ was resurrected and restored to his body so that I can too. So that one day my body will be perfect, and in the meantime, it helps me take better care of the one I have now and to treasure what good it gives me in this life.

I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet and that through the power of Jesus Christ, he helped restore the gospel on the earth. I am so grateful that he felt inspired at such a young age to pray about what church was right, which led him to help build the kingdom of God on earth.

I know that President Monson is our prophet today, and I respect and love him for all he does for the church and it's members. He truly is inspired by our Heavenly Father and tells us what we need to hear, even if we think we know better.

I know that the teachings of the church are true, and I am grateful to be able to learn more every day.

Day 22: Come Unto Me

". . .if ye will come unto me, ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you. . ." (3rd Nephi 9:14).

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ never go back on their promises. Their promises are so important that they repeat them numerous times throughout all of scripture. The above scripture is one I came across tonight. Once again, my favorite way to study right now is to break down sentences. The first part of the sentence is the requirement we have--to come unto Christ. Meaning, we keep building our relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ on a daily basis, always remembering them first. It's a process, I am one of the first to admit that I am far from perfect. But I want to keep trying to come unto Christ. I want to be known as a follower my whole life. I've seen where right choices have led me and where wrong choices have too.

After Jesus Christ states our part, he states his part--"ye shall have eternal life." What greater promise is there? Eternal life is our ultimate goal. We have this life set up to get there step by step. Some things are big and we're recognized for it such as getting baptized, receiving temple endowments, and getting sealed in the temple. Other things, and most other things, are not recognized by most people, maybe not even anyone but ourselves. Sometimes it's just the daily choices we have to make in order to keep the Spirit with us. And it's realizing we've made a mistake and being willing to repent and move on from it.

I included the last part of the scripture because I just love how it shows such a strong attribute of Christ-mercy. His arm of mercy is always extended towards us. He wants us to be with him all the time. And he knows we can be near him all the time, we are the ones that make the choice. We have to make the choice. How else would be know the difference? We need to not feel the Spirit at times in our lives so that we really appreciate and strive to have the Spirit with us the rest of the time.

He knows what he's doing, and he wants us to be a part of it.

Day 21: Grace

Grace is given to us from our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ.

That sentence made me wonder: How do you give a gift like grace through someone else?

And then I realized that the answer wasn't that hard. We see it a lot more than we realize. How many times have you been able to look back and realize that you made it through a hard time because someone else was there to help you in some way? To me, that is a good example of giving a gift through someone else. It may not be grace, exactly, but it is a gift given from Heavenly Father through someone else.

Heavenly Father knew we would need additional help other than what we could do ourselves to make it back to him. He knew we would need grace.

He couldn't just give us grace though. There needed to be a sacrifice in order for grace to have the effect it needed to in our lives. So he sent down a son to sacrifice for all the sins and pains of the world so that grace could be given to each of us. Because even when we realize we have done something wrong and repent, we can't fix it ourselves. That's where grace comes in. By grace, the atonement takes over the rest and we are freed from those sins, and pains, and whatever else we have been feeling that is temporarily holding us back from eternal progression.

Grace can only happen after we've done all that we can do. Grace takes on the same meaning as taking over the rest we cannot fix. Jesus Christ suffered to be able to help us become fixed. Jesus Christ suffered to be able to give us the gift of grace. And boy, do we all need it. Every day.

Day 20: Savior of the World

". . Behold, I am Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World. Treasure these things up in your hearts, and let the solemnities of eternity rest upon your minds." (Doctrine and Covenants 43:34)

I'm finding that a really good way for me to study is to take one scripture and really break it down to find out it's meaning. Sometimes taking a section verse by verse helps me understand a lot quicker than reading a big section and then analyzing it. What I really like about this verse is the order of things stated in this verse by Christ. After he states who he is, he tells us to "treasure it up in our hearts". It's like he's letting us know it's a relief that he told us that he is the Savior of the world. We don't have to worry about who can save us, or how everything will be taken care of. He's letting us know that it's ok, he's taken care of everything that we couldn't, so the rest we can work through with him. And with the rest of the verse "and let the solemnities of eternity rest upon your minds." To me it's him almost giving us something to work on. He's told us who he is, he's told us to not worry, and now he's telling us to admire and realize how good it can be for us, if we rely on his role as the Savior and are worthy to return to be with him for eternity.

He takes care of everything, if we let him.

Day 19: Savior of All Men

I love how the name "Savior" sounds so similar to "saver". Coincidence? I don't think so. Jesus Christ took on the role from the very beginning of being our "saver". He knew his mission on earth would require him to suffer above everyone else so that he could truly "save" us. By living a perfect life and suffering the pains and afflictions of the world, he gained the keys needed in order to have the Atonement work for us.

Studying about Jesus Christ is opening up my eyes more and more to what he really has done for me. And by doing so, it's making me want to be better, to work harder at being a good example of Him.

"For therefore we both labor and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Savior of all men. . ." (1st Timothy 4:10) I really like that scripture because it helps me when I'm going through a personal struggle. Wallowing in self-pity gets me no where. But when I step back and look at the whole scenario, and how this life is supposed to be hard, and I remember that Christ went through a lot worse and did it to help me, I start to change my attitude. I start to remember that I can make it through any obstacle or set back that comes my way, because Jesus Christ did it also. And he gave me the blessing of the Atonement to help me make it through anything.

Day 18: I"ll Go Where You Want Me to Go

I just re-read one of my favorite talks by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland about learning from the past and moving on. He uses the example of Lot's wife and how she turned into a pillar of salt not just because she looked back at the city of Sodom and Gommorah, but in her heart she longed to go back to what she had. She lacked the faith and trust in Heavenly Father that her life could be better than it was. And because of that, she suffered the consequences.

Elder Holland states "God doesn't care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are, and, where you are willing to go." Jesus Christ suffered for us so that we could use the healing powers of the atonement to forgive others for hurt from the past, and to be forgiven of our past mistakes. HEavenly Father states in the scriptures that he "remembers our sins no more" after we have truly repented. He doesn't live in the past, so we shouldn't either. He's more interested in what we've learned from the past and how it has shaped us for the now and what attitude it gives us about the future. He can lead us to places and people and situations that will help us reach our full potential, but only if we have the faith that is required.

Day 17: Keeping the Light

Jesus Christ often called himself "The Light of the World". He's been referenced as a "lighthouse", that is always shining and helpin those lost at sea find their way back to shore.

He's helped me.

I remember a time about over a year ago when I was going through a really hard time personally. I felt like it was a struggle every morning to get out of bed and face the day. As soon as I would wake up and remember where I was and what was going on in my life at that moment, a knot would settle into the pit of my stomach. I didn't have much of an appetite, and I felt like laughing and smiling were a rarity. Every day I would wonder if I would ever feel the happiness I once had again.

I went through what I think is called "the grieving process", where at first I was in shock/denial that things really took this turn. Then I got angry. I felt like that stage lasted longer because I tried to push it away. I didn't want to be angry. Angry is just an excuse to not face what was next: sadness and loneliness. When I finally faced the anger and moved onto the sadness and loneliness, I wondered if there really was a light out there. Every day I would plead to Heavenly Father to help me, in some way. To ease this giant burden and to calm my anxiety that seemed to be my constant companion.

And then, the light did come.

But it wasn't an all of a sudden thing. It was gradual, and came exactly how I needed it. Jesus Christ really was my lighthouse, and brought me back to shore. I was drifting there slowly, and since it was so dark around me, I didn't see how close I was to the shore until I actually made it. Until I actually started waking up with less of a knot inside myself, with finding myself laughing and smiling more.

Looking back, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ never left me during that time. In fact, I felt closer to them during that time than any other, even with all of those anxious and sad feelings. They blessed me with an amazing roommate who I would constantly unload and cry to. A great ward with friendly people to help me feel welcomed and loved. And most importantly, a growing testimony of love and trust towards my Savior, because even though I was sad, and angry, and anxious, I had Him, always there. Even typing that gives me a warm feeling right now because I remember that time still, and I hope I always will because I learned so much during that time. It really did shape me into who I am today, and strengthened my testimony in ways I never could have on my own. He really is always there as a constant guide.

Day 16: Staying Strong

Satan has had thousands of years to perfect himself in tempting everyone to the point where some don't know what to believe anymore. I know I get tempted every day with something, and sometimes it's something so little, I don't even really recognize it as something Satan is up to. It really is hard to stay good every single day. Not just "good", but "being like Christ" good. In fact, right now it's impossible. Sometimes I feel like I am no where near being as righteous and as in tune as our beloved prophet and the apostles. When I hear them humbly say " I have much to work on." It makes my stomach clench with guilt because if they're feeling inadequate, where do I start with myself?

Yet at the end of the day when I say my prayers, I can still feel the warmth of the love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for me, and specifically me, every day. Because they know deep down who I really am, and what I'm really trying to become. They have given me the tools I need to work on becoming like them throughout my whole life. Even when times are hard for me, I keep the Savior close in my mind and heart. Sometimes I'm ashamed to say that when things are going really well, I forget to keep him that close all the time. That's one of my many flaws.

But I'm trying to stay strong. And having their support behind me is really all I need. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have blessed me with the scriptures always around me, a temple a few blocks away, and a loving and supportive family. How can I not stay strong?