Day 60

The Lord has his own timing for everything. That is still a hard lesson for me to learn sometimes. Just this week I've finally had the ultimate closure on something in my life that I've been struggling to find for the past couple of years. I wanted it to come a long time ago, and I had about 98% of closure up until this week. And then, it came. Just as simple as that. No huge revelation, just another humble, personal experience. The Lord does work in mysterious ways. I really felt like I had done all I could for this situation, and I felt a confirmation that I had, and that the Lord would make up the rest in his own time. And now he has. In his own time frame, but once again, at the perfect time. That's what I can never get over-how he always, always answers us at the perfect time. And I'm just starting to realize that he does it after he knows I'll have learned what I need to. After all, the blessings come after the trial of our faith.

Day 59

The Atonement has taught me some hard lessons. Not necissarily about being forgiven, but just about how the plan works, and how it works for me. I used to think I needed to change other people in order for my life to be happy and work. I was wrong. I always ended up on the short end of the stick in that department because you can't change people. You can only change yourself. When I finally realized that, it helped me move on with my life in a better direction. Through the Atonement, I can heal and change for the better. I only have control over me. Everyone is responsible for themselves. When I finally realized that, it was such a relief. I didn't have to try and fix anyone else, all I had to do was fix me. Make me better. And I'm still working on that. Every day. But I can do it with the help from the Atonement.

Day 58

It's snowing outside, and I'm trying to be positive about it. I'm trying to remember that I am blessed to live on earth right now. That I'm blessed to have the gospel in my life, and to have grown up in a family who taught me the importance of it. I'm blessed because I have a full-time job in this economy, and that Paul is able to work as well, making us able to make ends meet every month, and even to have a little extra. I'm blessed because we live in an amazing apartment and don't pay very much for how much space we have. I'm blessed because I have a wonderful companion who listens to me and respects me and motivates me to be better. I'm blessed because I have a competent mind and can make my own decisions. I'm blessed because I have eyesight to see, and I have ears that can hear. I'm blessed because I have a body that can walk and talk and do what I need it to do everyday. I'm blessed because I live right by a temple and can go and do work for the dead and my Heavenly Father every day if I wanted to. I'm blessed because I have the knowledge of my Savior and the Atonement and can use that every day to better myself. There, I feel better. And it stopped snowing.

Day 57

Sometimes it's really hard to believe that you are worth a life. A perfect life, in fact. With all the mistakes I make daily, sometimes I think that I'll never get to the point where Heavenly Father wants me to be. But that's not true. That's what Satan wants me to think, and he is really good at that. I start to believe him more times than I care to admit, and then somehow (usually when I pray), I remember that every day I'm given a new chance. Actually, I'm given many chances every day to start over, to do better, and to move on.

It's not just about believing in Christ, it's about believing Christ. (That's a great book, by the way. Everyone should read it.) Christ gave up his perfect life so that I could perfect mine. He saw my worth, and knew it was worth the sacrifice. I just need to believe it myself and it makes it easier to be motivated to work harder, to better serve those around me. I've been given this chance on earth to prove who I really am, and become who they know I can become.

Day 56

Joseph Smith prayed to our Heavenly Father constantly. In fact, if it weren't for his desire to pray, the church would not be here on this earth, restored through him. Because he wanted to communicate with God, he was able to receive the answer he needed to his prayer and help build the kingdom of God on earth. I haven't gotten an earth-shattering answer to prayer like he did, but I have gotten several answers for my own questions about life, and therefore I have been guided in the ways I need to go to help continue to build this kingdom on earth.

Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways, and sometimes really obvious ways. One way we can always count on an answer from him is through prayer.

Day 55

I'm still thinking about prayer and the purpose of it. For me, prayer is more than just talking to Heavenly Father in a certain way, it's just. . .talking to him. He's my father, even though I can't "see" him right now. But I've felt him and his love, so I know he's real. I try to pray talking to him like I would someone else I really care about. Especially when I have a lot weighing on my mind and I don't quite know how to word it. I know that Heavenly Father knows the true thoughts and feelings I have, but he loves to hear me come to him and tell him myself. He gave me the power of prayer for a reason, to be able to exercise my way of communicating with him more effectively. He loves me, he wants what is best for me.

Prayer can never be taken away from me. I can always communicate with my Heavenly Father no matter what circumstance I find myself in. I have my mind, and the power to use it. I can speak to Heavenly Father out loud or through my heart. Either way, he is always listening.

Day 54

Prayer is more than just uttering words in a reverent manner. It's a 2-way communication with Heavenly Father. I think that's why the scriptures tell us to "always have a prayer in our hearts", meaning that we should be constantly in communication with our Heavenly Father. I love how we have been given the power to be able to talk to him, the one who created us and the world that we live in. He's given us a way to make sure that what we are trying to do is right, to ask for advice, to thank him for what he has given us.

We have been blessed with the ability to communicate with a higher being. I think Heavenly Father giving us the power of prayer goes to show how much he loves us. He didn't want us to have to come down to earth without being able to have him help us along the way. We have no idea what we're doing. He's the one who knows how everything works, how everything can work best for us. Prayer gives us that chance to feel that confirmation from him, and gives us confidence that we can continue to make it through this life the way he wants us to. Because we can talk to him whenever we want, and need to. He loves us that much.

Day 53

I'm still thinking about sacrifice. Today it's more the ultimate sacrifice-Jesus Christ's life. A lot of us have such strong feelings and emotions for certain people in our lives (like family) and feel like we would be willing to give up our lives for them. But for anyone? Would I give up my life for someone even if they never tried to get to know me? Or listen to me? Or if they did know me, but chose to ignore me? Would I give up my life if it meant I gave them an opportunity to change their ways, even if they did take it?

I wonder if Christ thought any of those things at some point in his life. He knew that even though he was giving up his life, not everyone would realize what he did for them. In fact, most people wouldn't, and if they did, they would choose to ignore it and not use it to better themselves.

But he did it anyways. Because he knew that there were those out there who would recognize him for what he had done, and would partake of his gift he gave us. He gave up his life to give us the gift of life. We now have the ability to perfect ourselves throughout this life with the help of his ultimate sacrifice.

Day 52

I've been thinking about sacrifice today. Especially Eve and what her example of sacrifice was. I never really considered her choice in the garden of Eden a sacrifice, but it was. By partaking of the fruit of the tree of good and evil, she gave up her innocence that she had. She gave it up to be able to learn good from evil and gain the knowledge that our Heavenly Father has.

I think what really makes a choice like that a sacrifice to me is the fact that she gave up something good, for something better. I remember when I was little I always thought Eve was a little crazy for giving up an amazing garden and having everything right there for the "lone and dreary world". Why give up what you have right in the moment that isn't a bad thing? We give it up if it Heavenly Father prompts us and lets us know that something better is in store. After partaking of the fruit, Eve was then able to start to learn and progress like Heavenly Father wanted her to. Even though the lone and dreary world really is that a lot of times-lone and dreary, it is also full of really good things that we all now can partake of, and learn about. Eve made the initial sacrifice of her comfort zone in order to step out and gain the knowledge she was capable of gaining, but only if her eyes were opened and the veil was put between her and Heavenly Father.

I'm grateful for Eve and her sacrifice.

Day 51

"Men are that they might have joy."

I just read a talk by Dallin H. Oaks and he talked about joy and misery-how those are the two extreme emotions we'll experience in this life. But during mortality we won't know the extent of both of those emotions, make sense? During this life, we'll experience some joy and some misery. It's after this life that we'll either have endless joy or endless misery. We'll either be with our Heavenly Father (endless joy) or not (endless misery). Who wants to be separated from our Heavenly Father for all of eternity? None of us.

Sometimes I get scared that I'm just not quite doing enough. I need to remember that every day is a chance to try and better myself just a little. If I can keep that in mind, I can progress how he wants me to. I can't fix everything I need to change about myself in one day, that would be too overwhelming and discouraging for me. But I can work on it a little at a time, and continue to use the atonement to help me reach that goal.

I want endless joy.

Day 50

Today I am finding joy in living. I'm finding joy in knowing that there is life for me after this one. I'm finding joy in knowing that my body is a precious gift given to me by my loving Heavenly Father. I'm finding joy in knowing that I am unique, and have my own unique mission here on this earth. I'm finding joy in knowing I have a family that I can be with forever.

I'm finding joy in knowing that every Sunday I can take the sacrament and renew the sacred covenants I've made to my Heavenly Father. I'm finding joy in knowing that I belong to the true church that was established on this earth by Joseph Smith. I'm finding joy in knowing that I have a Savior who loves me and died for me. I'm finding joy in knowing that because of the atonement, I can make it through anything in this life.

I'm finding joy in knowing that because I am a daughter of God, I have been promised all these things plus more that I can't even comprehend if I live true and faithful.

Day 49

I just read a story about a mother of 11 children who lost her sight during a heart surgery. She simply stated in the story, "I've been given a blessing that someday I'll get my sight back, and I know it will happen."

That, to me, is faith. How scary would it be to wake up from a surgery but to realize you could no longer see? Everything in your life would change. She had been promised her sight would come back, but there were no more specifics than that. I think it would be really hard to keep up that faith when it doesn't come back right away, or within the first year, or the next 5 years.

But faith is what is keeping this woman going. And faith keeps me going too. Heavenly Father gave me the gift of faith so that I could always hope for the future when things in the present weren't going ok. He blessed us to keep looking forward so that we would keep moving forward. He knew that since we could not see what he can see, we would get frustrated. How can this situation get better? He sees how it can, and how it will. We only see what's right in front of us. But with faith, we believe that he will make things better, make us feel better. He has the power to help us all.

Day 48

I've been thinking a lot about service lately, and how there are so many opportunities out there in our community that we can do to help someone.

I used to think that service meant doing something "big", or really obvious to that person. But it's not. Service is giving something without expecting anything in return.

The ultimate example of service is Jesus Christ. He gave his whole life without expecting anything in return. Of course he hoped we would study his life and teachings and use the atonement, but he was selfless about everything. He left it up to us to decide what to do with what he had given us.

The famous scripture "When ye are in the service of your fellow man, ye are only in the service of your God" still rings true. We feel unconditional love for those we serve. I think that's a gift Heavenly Father gives to us, teaching us how he feels. We find joy in helping out others. That's our spirits communicating with Heavenly Father, and I think remembering what it was like to feel that way all the time.

When we give without expecting anything back, we are blessed the most.

Day 47

Jesus Christ helps make our burdens light. I think that's one of those feelings you can't really describe to anyone else. It's a personal feeling, a personal testimony builder to feel the worries and anxieties of your own life literally be lifted off of your conscience.

I've felt that many times before in my life. I've felt weighed down by various situations, people, and who knows what else. And when I finally stop being so stubborn and cry out to Heavenly Father for help, it always comes. I always, always feel better, even if I still don't know what it's store for me.

I think that's what makes me feel so light, is I let the faith come into my life and trust Heavenly Father from there. Even though I don't know what the outcome will be, I feel better because I have the faith that it will all be ok, and that I'll be ok with what happens.

I feel weird trying to explain this, because everyone experiences situations like this in their own personal way. It's one of those things that are really hard to explain.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I believe Christ. I believe that he takes away my pains and worries when I turn to him because that's what he's promised me he'll always do for me. He's here to help me.

Day 46

I just read an incredible account about how the atonement helped this woman during the hardships in her life. To read it, go here.

I love the atonement and all it does for each one of us. I feel like I talk about that on this blog almost every post, but it is so important to me. It's something that I can always, always count on. It takes the form I need it to for every trial I face. It's the comfort I need when I stand in need of comfort. It's the love that fills me when I help someone else out who is also struggling.

Jesus Christ took his role seriously. Never made a mistake, never overreacted to difficult situations, taught us the principles we needed to know in order for him to be able to carry out his divine role for the atonement to actually take place. He knew it would be needed for everything we would ever go through in this life. He understood it, and takes joy in us when we understand it better. I don't think I'll ever completely understand it. But I understand it during the times I need it, and it always heals me.

Day 45:

"The Church is the stronger or the weaker as each member is strong or weak in his or her faith and performance."-President Gordon B. Hinkley

Reading this quote by President Hinkley inspires me to try and work harder in my membership in the church, to continue to work harder at strengthening my testimony so that I can continue to progress how I am supposed to. I'm grateful to be a member of a church that teaches us that we will make mistakes, but that there is a way we can be forgiven and move on from them.

I'm grateful for the Savior who is the head of our Church, and who is the one that taught us the miracle of forgiveness, and taught us that we each have potential inside of us to be like him someday. And that every day we are working closer at being like him, if we are actively seeking his counsel.

Day 44:Forgiveness

It's amazing to me how we have power. We have the power to forgive others. We can do something that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do, while still in our mortal state. He has instilled in us the power to forgive others when they have wronged us. We are able to do as he does. And when we do forgive, we feel closer and more Christ-like.

Satan always shadows that, and makes it seem like it's too hard, or not worth it. But it is. We always feel better after we've forgiven someone and can finally move on. Not forgiving stunts our growth and stops us from progressing. Forgiving teaches us lessons Christ wants us to learn in order for us to understand better what we are here for.

We are here to become like him. And we need to forgive others when they make mistakes like we do.

Day 43: Healing

Jesus Christ is the master healer. He performed miracles during his time upon the earth and still heals us today.

He is the only one that can make me whole. He is the only one I can turn to to completely heal my spirit when it's been wounded by either something I've done myself, or something others have done to me.

He can make me whole.

Day 42: Believe

"I believe that each one of you has the power to change the world. Believe in yourselves. Believe that you are never alone. Believe that you will be guided."-Sister Elaine S. Dalton

Where I work teaches me a lot about the power our minds have, and the capacity we have to learn. This war we are fighting on this earth takes more than physical strength, we need mental strength. Satan is the master at figuring out our weaknesses and studying our habits. He then figures out the best ways to tempt us, to bring us down, to make us feel like we really aren't worth much.

But we are more powerful than him. We always have been, because we made the right choice before we even came down to this earth. That showed what strength we already have inside of us. Then we were brought to this earth and given a life that would continue to strengthen our spirits. Just like muscle that needs to be worked hard and broken down before it can strengthen itself to be stronger than it was before, we are the same with our spirits. We need to be brought down to our knees through trials in order for us to gather the strength we need to fulfill our role in this plan.

Heavenly Father never brought us down to this earth to fail. He brought us down to find ways to believe in ourselves and our spiritual capacity. We are his children, so we do have the potential inside of ourselves to be just like him. We have to believe we can do it, and believe that Jesus Christ can help us do it.

Day 41: Fear Not

With Jesus Christ you can do anything.

Know how many times I've heard that throughout my life? A lot. Most of the time I believe it. But sometimes, I don't. And those times I don't are the times I get the most discouraged. That's always the pattern. Lost a little faith, and feel despair a lot more.

In the midst of a trial it can be really hard to remember that Jesus Christ is there for us through the whole thing. It's hard to remember that he has felt everything I've felt when I'm feeling discouraged. He's the one who helped with this plan and gave me the opportunity to come down on this earth and find out who I really am. He knew the circumstances I would need to face in order for me to develop my character, to strenghen my spirit to the point where I am ready to stand in the presence of God.

Reading my scriptures and praying always make me feel good inside, and they make me feel stronger. Somehow Satan finds a way in from time to time and distracts me from what's really most important-developing myself spiritually. Satan knows that if I remember I have Jesus Christ at my side, he is powerless against me. And he knows that I've realized that I can dominate over him in the end. He knows he's going to loose. He just wants me to think that I'm going to, too.

But with Christ, I have nothing to fear.

Day 40: A life given

What does Jesus Christ mean to me? I feel like that's the whole point of this blog for me. It's to help me remember Christ every day. I do my best to say my personaly prayers every day, and to pray with my husband in the morning and at night. I've been lacking on my scripture study and that's why I started up this blog. To use it as a journal for my daily study.

But even with this blog on here, I get distracted. I still forget to post. A lot of times I remember I need to post, but then don't find time to do it. I don't want to feel rushed in putting something on here, and I don't want it to feel like a chore. Sometimes it does, and I feel guilty. It isn't a chore to think of and honor Jesus Christ. It's a priviledge. It's a blessing that I live in a free country where I can post something religious. Where I am free to attend whatever religion I choose to. Where I can talk freely about religion. a lot of people in this world don't have that opportunity. I do.

When I read about events and trauma going on in the world, even in this country, it helps me take a step back and realize how blessed I am to have the life I have. How little my trials are, and how the are manageable compared to some that other people are going through. I don't know why I was blessed to be born into such wonderful circumstances, but I feel like because I have been given so much, I have a lot I need to give back to Heavenly Father. And I know the way to give back is to help out others while I'm here. To be the example I need to be to others. To learn and grow from other's experiences and situations. I have my life for a reason, and I need to make the most of it. That doesn't mean go out and travel and do all these things that would be "big" by the world's standards, I think it means all the little things that add up. The friendships I make. The daily lessons I learn. All those add up in the end and portray who I really am. Especially what I think and how I act when I don't think anyone is watching, or listening.

Jesus Christ gave up his life so that I could live mine. I hope I live up to that potential.